Christian T shirts made by three girls who Love Jesus for girls who Love Jesus. Our shirts are designed to be tools for evangelism. JCLU T shirts have simple faith based statements while being fun and fashionable.
My Blog "I Have A Secret" Is all about my little secrets to help my readers grow in a really awesome relationship with Jesus and help get through some tough times that we all end up having to go through. Sometimes, I may not have the answer and sometimes, the secret may be something that you already know. But if there is one thing that "I Have A Secret" and myself support it is the grow of faith and spiritual empowerment of woman. JCUL is a really awesome public way to show your love for your savior and look cute at the same time. Living on an all female campus I find it now more than necessarily in anyway, shape or form to find ways of teaching our Future females the lessons and love of Christ. So this secret is to you JCUL! I support everything that you stand for.
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Thursday, August 18, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Secret Ten: To Shorting the Wait for “The One.”
**Pre-note: Male readers this secret also applies to you as well.
But being a female, I’m speaking from a female stand point…just letting you know
Really? Is it so? Do you really know the secret for shorting the wait for the one? Truth be told…no. Think about it, I’m in my own single season with the Lord, what would I know about relationships with men right now? You know why I don’t know, because that kind of choice is between you and God. We are all at different stages in our life and our relationships with God so it’s completely between you and your relationship with the Most High. However I do know that when you’re waiting for ‘The One” it may be smart to start praying for him. Confused? I understand. The idea of praying for someone that we never met is a hard concept to chew and swallow. But if you really think about it, we pray to a God that no one has seen. You see it’s all a matter of faith. I put my life in a God that I can’t see and I fully trust him to the point that I would die for him. God isn’t only as real as we make him to be, don’t forget friends, God made us not the other way around.
So moving on to this whole praying for your future husband thing and the concepts that has people worried that you’re choking. When I say praying for your future husband I don’t mean praying to God a list of things that you want in a guy and God magically goes *poof* “Here thy man is for thee!” God already knows your needs and your wants, and what you could need is something that maybe isn’t what you want. But after to talking to my happily married mentors, they have all told me one thing in common about their husbands, they are WAY better than anything they could think up themselves. This proved to me that God really does look out for us because he sends people into our lives to help us grow only so much deeper in love with him. For example, my best friends. I know that all of our paths crossed because God wanted them too, why? Because he loves all three of us. We are strong individually but together we are (shall I dare say it?) Unstoppable!
So how do you start when praying for your future husband? Well first I’d start pray for his heart. The heart that beats strongly in the Lord is a heart that is worth more than any treasure of the world…or so I like to think. Pray that his heart beats for God, that it remains strong in the Lord. Pray that his heart is deeply in love with God, that his heart is a holy dwelling place for the Lord and his mind is consistently thinking upon Him. When his heart and mind have the focus right, God will keep him protected and have his blood constantly running through him. A man with his heart and mind in the right focus is a man worth waiting for!
When praying for your future anything it’s all up to you and God. You and God are the only two that really know all about your life. You know the struggle and the heartbreak that you have gone through and you understand what you need and if you have faith, God will provide for you. But this is something a lot of Christians struggle with. It’s hard to put your faith into something you can’t see, it’s hard to know that this God (remind you that you can’t see) is hand-crafting a man out there just for you my lady friends (and men for you it’s vice-versa). But there is one thing I have learned over my years of trusting God, he keeps and delivers his word. Remember God work’s in his own time and when we have spiritually grown to maturity. God can see you and hear your thoughts and concerns, he maybe just waiting for your faith and trust in him. It’s like he’s waiting up in the heavens with a big bucket of blessings ready to pour on you but he’s waiting for you to trust him. Once you do, you become drenched with all sorts of blessings from him.
I may not know the secret to shorting the wait time, but I do know this. Pray for you future husband and God will throw a few surprises your way. Trust him and I guarantee that God will make your dreams that you haven’t even dreamt of come true. God Bless my brothers and sisters! Remember dear friends, I’m learning right there with yeah!
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” ~Romans 12:12
Secret Nine: The Perfect Nails
Not going to lie, I had a lot ideas as well as a lot of troubles with this secret. I remember I was sitting at my computer at my dining room table thinking of some really awesome secrets; Spiritual Discernment, Friendship, even things like Forgetting and Not Regretting but once I started to type those idea’s I found myself at a loss for words. One day I hope to write them but for that moment of time I was sitting at the table clicking my new French Manicure against the wood table. I got the expensive stuff because I want my manicure to last but it was then when the idea literally clicked. I know the secrets to perfect nails.
Literally the whole idea of nail care is a ridicules concept to me, I mean the only reason I got the nails in the first place is because it was my little sister’s birthday. If it wasn’t that factor I wouldn’t have gotten them. But it makes me think about Jesus and I wondered ‘If Jesus was perfect, did that include nails?’ The answer, I’m not sure. But I do know that Jesus did have perfect nails the day when he showed his brothers and sisters the ultimate sign of obedience. The nails that I’m referring to are the ones that held him to the cross. Those to me are perfect nails. The nails needed to help wipe our debt clean.
A lot of people view the cross as a symbol of ultimate love. Christians often wear it around there necks to show their faith in Christ, when 9/11 happened two steel rods in the shape of the cross remained in the rubble reassuring Christians of the hope and promise of the resurrections, and crosses are often used in hospitals to inspire there team of doctors to love and there patients to hope. I’m not saying that the cross doesn’t mean all of those things, but to me the cross has a completely different meaning.
To me the cross is not a symbol of love but rather obedience. When I wear a cross I’m proclaiming to my God that “I will serve you my Lord, even to death on a cross.” I believe the symbol of love rests in the Man who was nailed to the cross. I know if any human was asked to give their lives to the ransom of the many, we would have said, ‘No.’ But Jesus replied, ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NIV) Did you read that friends? There is NO GREATER LOVE than this: to lay down ONE’S life for ONE’S FRIENDS.” He gave EVERYTHING for us, without hesitation. If Jesus was willing to lay down his life for his friends, what do you think God is willing to do for us? That’s why I think those nails are so perfect. They held Jesus to the cross. It was like the pen Jesus used to sign his life for ours.
Those nails were intended for us, and let me tell you they would have been far less perfect that Jesus’ nails were. Our contracts wouldn’t have been in our favor, it would basically be us signing our life to misery. It may not be what we what but we chose to live a certain way, and we fall because we aren’t perfect. But Jesus was flawless; the nails that pierced him truly pierced perfection. Jesus was 100% man and 100% God meaning, he was a full guy. No wonder Jesus did miracles and love everyone, he would have exploded if he didn’t (or this is my theory of it). Sometimes I wonder if Jesus bleeds pure, not red blood but white. Being human, he would bleed red but in God I can see white.
Jesus blood wipes our sinful hearts white, like bleach removes stains on white clothing. Those nails, the things that helped make the prophecy of Jesus our new reality I think are perfect nails. The cross is a symbol of ultimate obedience, and Jesus, the man/God himself is the symbol and example of perfect and pure love. Jesus chose his death because he wanted us to have new life. His blood is on our contracts; Satan has no power over us because he got the perfect sacrifice. Because Jesus was perfect he couldn’t be in hell, but he did conquer it along with death, sickness and any demonic spirit that roams the earth. He closed the gap for us allowing a way to get to heaven. I pray for you my brothers and sisters that we all come to know the perfect sacrifice and salvation that we have obtained through our Lord Jesus and the God that we serve. God Bless!!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Secret Eight: One Year Check Up: Faith, Trust, and a little Jesus-Musk
As some of you may know I am currently on a one year “break” from dating boys. No dates, no very personal conversations on the phone or texting, no very personal kind of anything except for the title of friends and maybe even good friends. Some of you think this year is stupid and a good waist of this twenty year old woman’s life. Some of you find this year as a joke and some don’t think I can do it and I’ll just keep slipping up. Only a handful of people find what I’m doing to be very brave and fulfilling, but they have also seen the cost in damage I have done to myself in the past that lead me to this choice.
On July 6, 2009 I was set free from a life that almost destroyed me. The girl back then and the girl now have one thing in common…we live at the same address. My life forever changed because God finally broke through to me. But this year is 2011, and the devil works even harder to make his temptations just a bit sweeter for me. Yes, I admit I’ve fallen for some of them, sometimes I knew I was and sometimes I didn’t know until after the damage was done. But now I can feel that girl I once was returning and this time I know if I fall back into that lifestyle, I won’t make it out.
In order to prevent something like that life from happening again I had to find the common denominator of my struggles. I know 99.9% of my sin is because I fall short and mess up. However, the question remains in me…what is the temptation I was falling for the most? One answer rose higher than the rest, my biggest struggle that a lot of my other sins feed from is my struggle with my human counterpart…boys. I prayed and prayed asking God what he wanted me to do and in November of 2010 I heard him say that 2011 would be HIS year.
On January 1, 2011 I gave God a promise that this would, in fact, be his year. And on January 12, I consciously made the decision of walking out of the promise. I chose to break that promise, and I was filled with guilt that consumed me until February, 15 when I asked God for Grace as well as a new promise that my year would start over on that day because this is something that I need. But I still struggle and at times I’ve almost slipped up. But what makes it so hard for me to stay faithful to this promise? I asked this question to myself while putting on a popular men’s deodorant called Axe…
Now for anyone who really knows me, they understand I’m not the definition of a ‘normal’ girl. I’m more muscular than most girls, I enjoy playing hardcore sports rather than shopping, I like the color brown and green over pink and purple any day, and I’m just now starting to understand the function of a purse rather than just carrying everything I need in a wallet. But for those of you who don’t know me too well, I wear men’s deodorant because it last longer and protects better than woman’s deodorant that just makes you smell good. But I will say, I do enjoy the smell of the Axe and before this year started, I enjoyed this smell particularly on men.
I’m not going to lie; sometimes I wonder why I did this one year. I’m finding out that I’m more attractive than I ever relied because I’m getting more offers than I have ever gotten before. And it’s hard, it’s hard for me to say no. For the first time in a while, men have been coming up to me with wild offers that before I would have jumped on. But this year instead of falling in love with a man I find my heart chasing Jesus, everyday. Every day I long to be held by Jesus and talk to him about everything, even ask for advice and have a better relationship with him. I can’t help but hope and pray that whomever God is making for me would be just like (or really, really close) to the way Jesus is treating me. To Jesus, I’m a Princess.
Let me just get this out of the way now…I am NOT attracted to Jesus, meaning I DO NOT think about him romantically. For some reason when I tell people I’m falling head over heels in love with Jesus they think that I’m sexually attractive to him. That isn’t the case at all! The relationship is based on a deeper love called Agape, unconditional love. Nothing will happen to me that will ever separate this love that I have for Jesus. I love Jesus because he makes me stronger, he’s always around me and no matter what I face, and he is always fighting with me. For the first time in my life (and from now on) I am not alone.
This deep of a relationship builds my trust and through trust comes faith and identity. It took me a while but I finally found the base of my identity. Jesus Christ. When my identity is rooted in Christ, my relationship with him grows stronger but I’ve noticed some other changes in myself, primarily with my personality. It was my friends that were the first to noticed, I became softer, sweeter, friendlier. I became more compassionate and forgiving, and it seemed all my old habits began to die. They found my company enjoyable and appropriate and they started treating me with more respect.
Now with my identity with Jesus, this means I get the added bonus of the Holy Spirit living inside of me around the clock. I love the direction my life is heading in, I want people to be able to witness through me just what Jesus can do with a heart. I want to be so filled with the Holy Spirit I don’t need to breathe at night. I want people to understand that God isn’t just some mystical being a million miles away in space but He’s right here, next to you, even dwelling inside of you. I want the Holy Spirit to become my new “Axe” sent, and that people can say they ‘smell’ the Jesus-sent on me. I want my faith and identity to grow so strong that I legit smell like Jesus.
I call the new sent Jesus Musk and I want it. However just like all other fragrances this comes at a price. Not going to lie, it’s hard to be a Christian. But I have become so unconcerned about the worries that are on this world, that my drive to have Jesus is so strong, I’m willing to give my everything to him. This is new sent couldn’t have come at a better time, during my one year. I want to be so in love with Jesus that my future husband can smell the Jesus Musk on me, and hopefully vice-versa.
Let me tell you this my friends, the longer you keep your gaze fixed on the Lord, the more you’ll discover how much he loves you. When you discover his absolutely perfect love and the fact it was meant for you, there is no hurt or heartbreak; there is no frustration or anger; there is no imperfection or worthlessness; there is no shame or guilt. Friends, his love is so perfect that anything you have ever done doesn’t matter anymore, He is just happy that you looked towards him. Trust me, he knows how hard it is to live on earth, Jesus has done it before. But also remember that he conquered this earth and through him, we have inherited it.
My prayers are still going out to all of you, know that you are dwelling in my heart and know that you are also dwelling in God’s heart. God Bless!
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” ~Ephesians 6:18-20
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Secret Seven: Choices
Have you ever seen the movie, The Emperor’s New Groove when Kronk is trying to through the Emperor off the side of the kingdom? The angel and the devil appear on his shoulder and they begin to argue about what to do, save the Emperor or kill him. Kronk was running out of time until he finally decided to go and save him from a tragic ending. We learned that Kronk, as big as he is, he really is a big sweetheart. Kronk chose compassion. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what I should have as my secret seven when I found myself in a little bit of a pickle. You see, psychologically I’m fine; in every aspect I’m of my well being I’m usually fine. But recently I have been having troubles. As early as I go to bed, I find myself always sleepy; I can’t keep food down when I have the appetite to eat it. As healthy as I eat I still can’t lose weight and according to my BMI (Body Mass Index) I’m not even on the chart because I’m just that obese. I’m very active, just not as hardcore as I used to be (not after I got my knee surgery) so the fact that I can’t get myself to a healthy weight is very frustrating.
Now there is something you should know about me. I used/still struggling with Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder when you deprive yourself of food, self starvation. It was not a happy time in my life because it didn’t affect my life; it affected my family, friends, school and even work. Try explaining to your twelve year old brother why you won’t eat, it wasn’t easy. But luckily my church just made enough impact on me to bring me down to reality, sadly I still suffer from the corrupt eyesight (meaning as skinny or thin as I truly am, I can’t see it myself. I will consider myself fat). As much as people try to deny it, Anorexia is a choice, that just manifest into a lifestyle. In the beginning I chose not to eat or eat significantly less than what I was supposed to. I chose (if I did eat) to throw it up after. And soon, I found myself unable to control those reflexes, because I wasn’t eating I didn’t menstruate which led to more issues I have and I was no longer allowed to play my favorite sport, soccer (or any sport for that matter) my choices lead to that.
Going back to my current medical issues. I do (now) have a healthy diet and I’m active but it’s not enough. I have been tempted to go back because I did lose a lot of weight when I didn’t eat. Often I struggle with the idea that not eating is the most effective way to lose weight. Ladies if you are struggling with something like this because you want to be skinny please remember that the word beautiful isn’t skinny either, you were made to be exactly who you are, not eating only damages the beauty that is already there. I’m still struggling with that idea that not eating will help me. I’m a vegetarian right now (the thought of eating meat disgusts me) and I like to over load on starches. So thinking more about it, I have decided to become a vegan. No diary, eggs, or any animal byproduct. I’m still gonna wear wool and sit on leather though. I chose to do this so that my body can fight whatever is in it off naturally.
So how does any of this go back to our main point? It’s all about choices today ladies and gentlemen. The choices that we make, even the little ones in our everyday lives cannot only affect others around us; it can affect our spiritual life. In the book of Matthew 7: 13-14 Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few find it.” We know how to get to heaven. Truly believe that Jesus is the Savior, the Way, the Truth and the Life. But there is more to it than just believing, we have to live him. Saying you’re a Christian then going out and lying, cheating, putting others down and doing other sorts of provocative stuff will make you a hypocrite, the people that Jesus hated. If you are going to confess that you are a Christian, you better be ready to live it. Good thing about this, God made it our choice to live like this; we just need to be ready to accept the consequence. If you chose to walk in the light of Jesus you have to also live like he did, Jesus was what he taught. John 14: 7 Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” When Jesus was on earth he showed others how to get to heaven, in fact he even made it easy for us by dyeing instead of us.
In life you are given a serious of choices, not all of them will be the norm of one good one bad; some will be good and good and some will be bad and bad. If there is one thing I have learned about College multiple choice tests, some Professors will give all right answers it’s your job to pick the right-est answer. And trust me; they will mark it wrong if it isn’t that answer regardless if all the other answers are right. It’s hard; it’s hard to choose sometimes. Life choices are the same; sometimes (or for me a lot of the times) we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I do this or that? Do I go with my belief or my religions belief? For me, I believe that homosexuality is an issue that people shouldn’t concern themselves with being but for my own personal option, I won’t engage in homosexual activity. People often think because I don’t have an option about it (or I’m more on the fence) that I must be a homosexual myself or I must not be with the church. While people have these crazy ideas of me I personally have a hard time explaining to them that it’s not my place to judge.
Life is all about the choices we make and the way that they impact the lives all around us. The bible is all about people who have made both good and bad choices, there outcomes and how we can avoid destruction and maximize glory to God. Prayer is a good way to get help with issues and challenges in their lives. Remember that in the book of John, right before Jesus left earth (John 16:33) “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God Bless!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Secret Six: To be that Perfect Woman.
“There must be somewhere I can be astonishing.” ~Astonishing: Little Women the Musical. Okay, what do Pride and Prejudice and Little Women have in common? Stumped? Pride and Prejudice and Little Women are stories that explain the struggles of women when their rights where just a far off dream. The first line in chapter one of Pride and Prejudice is “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” But in today's where it seems that all of our morals and values have gone out the window, some men think that they are still the dominating sex. Some parts of the culture this is still true, it’s a male dominated work field when it come to being the head of a CEO or President of a company or even the nation. When brave women enter with these positions we are more likely not taken seriously, we are made fun of and some people take advantage of us.
Sometime men prove themselves the greater power by being violent to women, to prove that they are superior. Some men do that to women that they don’t even know, to these monsters, women are nothing more than objects. So when women take the stance, it’s seems unaccepted but we choose to do it anyways. Women who have made choices to misbehave have changed the course of history: Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, and J.K Rowling just to name a few well known women to have changed history. These women do not have super powers, they did not come from wealthy families and they decided to go against the odds that society had already label for women who went through as much as they did.
Now I’m not saying that our struggles are mostly due to men, a lot of women are subject to just as much blame as men are. I know some women who say that God made man first so he could practice…sometimes I’d have to agree. But often I remember the fact that I still mess up, I let greed get to me and I fall to the temptations of the world. Brad Stine, a Christian comedian, said in his show Tolerate This that, “Man sees the woman he wants he goes after her, if she says no we’re out! Woman sees the man that they want they go grab them, not by the lapel but by the soul. Till you gotta have them, till you can’t live without them. And by the way, women don’t just give themselves away like men do; they make you earn them! And that’s why you gotta male and you gotta female because you can have that male for free, but with this male there’s a fe(e) involved [in case you didn’t get it, fee-male stands for female]. If you want a woman it’s gonna cost yeah, and it should you’re the best of us. The best of us.”
In the bible the book of Proverbs explains two different types of woman. Proverbs 7 girl and a Proverbs 31 woman. The father who is giving advice to his son tells him to watch out for the Proverbs 7 girl, “The woman approaches him, seductively dressed and sly of heart. She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner.” “‘Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses, form husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.’ So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery. He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stage caught in a trap, awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life.” (Proverbs 7:10-12; 18-23).
Ladies, if you say that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior but the passages above reflect you life with men, you really need to thing about rearranging your priorities. So what makes the perfect woman? It’s hard really pinpoint the qualities of a perfect woman due to the fact that we are all flawed. But being flawed doesn’t mean that we stop striving to be this kind of perfect, especially when it comes to something this valuable. There is a lot of risk when women act reckless; the soul, heart, spirit and sometimes the body. So, how can we women obtain perfection when we are all flawed? Why should we even try? Well flip all the way to the end of Proverbs to chapter 31:10. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” A wife worth having is more valuable than anything on this world.
I came up with a saying when talking about the importance of our hearts. “Hardening your heart doesn't make sense if darkness is still infecting it. It's like placing a rotten orange behind stainless steel refrigerator doors. The orange is still rotting, just no one can pick it up and throw it away.” I am not saying that feminism moment was a big mistake because it didn’t go in the direction that God wanted it to go. But ladies if you’re looking to be that perfect woman, dominance has nothing to do with it. In Proverbs 31 starting at verse 10, in that passages it talks about the perfect woman is something a value, and she’s a hard at home to make sure that her family as well as home is well kept and she even is a hard worker making money the honest way. A woman like this is a woman that is made to be treasured.
Now please remember that we are made with flaws and we are all imperfect. Not all women can live like this and some woman don’t think that they should. But truth is, women are made to be the back bone in a family. Men are more of the back bone in other places. Without woman, children and even some adults wouldn’t understand how to care for families and even themselves. Being the perfect women isn’t made to easy, especially in the culture that we have today, very male dominated. Remember to stand strong in your faith ladies! God is on the side of those who live a life that Glorifies him!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Secret Five: To Being Blessed in the Darkness
However, there was a feeling that I had before that caused me to be aware of a day like today. I felt like there was a demon ‘leach’ attached to my heart and was sucking the life out of me. This demon leach made me weak and unhappy. It took away my focus and I just couldn’t be happy, but every night I still continued to pray. I prayed that whatever was bothering me (at the time I didn’t know what it was) to go away. Today when I woke up, I was seriously weak. It felt like everything inside of me had been sucked out during the night. I only got around three hours of sleep so I thought it was me just being tired but I couldn’t have been farther away from the truth.
Even in the darkest of times I still struggle to make my faith known. These last three months haven’t been easy on me and for the first time, I find myself on my knees trying to handle the suffering. When I pray and my world is crashing around me, it takes EVERYTHING I am just to say to God, “I will still Love you Lord! I will still Love you!” I trust God 100% because when I trust man, things don’t normal go too well for me. With God, I don’t fear man, when I trust God I can feel joy through pain. So when I said that I trust in God 100% there is no slag, there is no doubt in my heart that God is watching my back. However I still have a lot to understand before my faith is rooted strongly in God’s heart. All I understand so far when it comes to life crashing around you (even when life brings you clear blue skies and sunny days) God is in control.
When I entered into church the moment we started singing the first song, I felt something hit my armor. Even though spiritually I felt drained, my armor was still as strong as ever. The armor of God doesn’t rely on physical strength to wear it; it’s all about your own choices. If you chose not to wear the armor that’s cool, go right ahead. But I guarantee that the flaming arrows of the evil one will feast on your open skin. My armor was protecting my heart, and although no blow was strong enough to break through to my flesh, it still hurt…and I wasn’t just battling one demon I was battling three. Because the Armor of God doesn’t rely on physical strength to wear, the battle doesn’t rely on it either. I could be the physically strongest person in the world and not stand a chance against the three demons. This is a whole new playing field.
Alone I could never defeat these demons, with my guardian angel maybe defeat one (not by my hand though), but with God (HA!) nothing can stop me. In church I was being hit hard by these little demons, I couldn’t stop crying and my friends were freaking out. I fought my hardest and I know my Angel did too, but it wasn’t until cried out did God give me what I needed in order to win. I know that God will never cause his children to suffer; in fact, Jesus (who was 100% God) suffered just like us. God would never tempt us; however, he will test us. I do believe that God would have come to my aid regardless if I asked or not. But I understood that I COULD NOT do this on my own. I believe what God was looking for was how much I really trust him and without hesitation I cried to God “I will still Love you Lord, I will still love you!”
Right then, I felt bits and pieces of joy returning to me. The demons are gone but I guarantee that they will be back. I’m not completely rid of all my pain and suffering but I’m getting better, and I know that God has rewarded me for my trust in him. When church was over, Rachel gave me a ride to my car. I opened the door and sat in, just before closing the door I saw a piece of paper one the windshield. I grabbed in and sat in my car. It was an envelope and on the front was written To: Arielle From: Jesus (For CNA license) and when I opened it, there was three hundred dollars in cash! I couldn’t believe it, I still kind of don’t. When I told Rachel and my little sister Katie about it, they couldn’t believe it either.
Rachel said that someone must know how generous I am. I have never viewed myself as generous; I just don’t view money as an important asset. I don’t need money to be happy so usually if I have it I’ll give it to someone who asks/needs it. I never really thought that people pay attention to stuff like that, and I didn’t really know that I did it myself. The only other outside thing I do is support a little girl in Nicaragua so she can have a chance at life. But my friends broke it down for me. I offer to drive places so my friends can save gas and don’t charge for gas, I offer to pay for extras things when we go out to eat, sometimes I pay for meals, I let my friend ‘go shopping’ in my closet and don’t charge; the list goes on and on with more than just two people. Not only that but I give up my time for some people. I can promise you I don’t do it for the recognition, more because well…Jesus said to.
When I trusted in God I was rewarded, when I serve God, which is its own reward. Now I’m not going to expect this every time, I didn’t even expect it this time. I guess it was God reassurance that his is watching over me and he does hear prayers. I pray for you, my friends, to turn your hearts to God. No matter what you’re struggling with God isn’t going to leave you. Remember if you want God to help you, you have to trust that he can help you. That he is loving, kind, gentle and wants to protect you for harm, and trust me when I say this. Just like a father, when someone is hurting his child, he doesn’t stand for it and he will come help you. God Bless (literallyJ)!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Secret Four: Avoiding Drama
There is something seriously in my life that I am lacking. Lately there’s been so much drama in a lot of lives where I live; it’s like a growing volcano. And one little thing can cause so much chaos, however, today was not that day but we came super close. It was bad, makes me just sit a wonder what will happen when it finally erupts. I’m worried about what happens when it does. Some many people have been caught in drama’s terrible trap that one wrong move can do more damage that anyone can imagine. I hate to say it but it is getting to me. Last night was a perfect example, but for everyone sakes I’ll spare you the details. But it finally got to the point where I was sobbing in my bed and unable to breathe without monitoring it myself.
Drama was not the reason for my crying, in fact if I wasn’t dealing with other things, I most likely wouldn’t have cried. But that was the tip of my volcano, and I couldn’t get it to stop. One thing that did majorly calm me down was my night prayer. Every night before bed I say a prayer. I pray for my friends and family, thanking God for their blessings in my life. I pray for the people that hurt me that they understand that I don’t hold them at fault anymore. I pray for the arrival of my Lord to return. And finally (and most important (well…to me)) I pray for the strength to deny myself the following day. I always tell God I mess up but every day I’m trying a little harder. In the book of Luke, Jesus said to a crowd of people that “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).
But what does denying yourself have anything to do with Drama? Well first what does denying yourself mean? No guesses? Well what is denying? According to the dictionary on my computer, denying means 1) to say something is not true and 2) refuse request. Biblically when Jesus talks about denying ourselves we are to refuse who we are (and not identically). An example I love listening to gossip, but when Jesus calls me to deny myself, I deny listening to gossip, and I refuse the urge to listen to it. So when I was sobbing my eyes out, I understood I was taken in by the struggles of this world, I cried out (literally) to God asking him to help me take away the suffering. When I chose to cry out for help, I denied myself, I refused to be upset about the drama that happened.
I’m not sure if my roommate was in the room when this happened, because she would have heard my prayer. Throughout all the crying and sniffling, I still managed to pray for my love ones, my friends and family, the people that hurt me and the arrival of Christ still managed to be in my prayer. The moment I asked God to take away my worry, fear, anxiety, and pain he did. But I did still feel alone, so I ask God to come and surround me to make me feel warm and safe. It’s a sad day when a bunch of all girl school drama makes you fear for your own safety. Makes you wonder what really happens in our schools.
Every time I ask God to help me to deny myself, it means I’m willing to change your life towards the direction of God. Doing things that glorify God and everything that he has done for us. When I came crawling to God last night, people might think weak. ‘Look at her! She’s crawling back to a God who physically can’t do anything to help her.’ First off God has done more to help me physically than man has ever been able to do. And Second, to man my crawling to God may have been seen as weak, but to God, it’s the strongest choice that I was able to make. Crawling to God isn’t easy, nor is living for him; it wasn’t supposed to be easy. But the moment you are safely in his arms, nothing of this world or even of the realms could hurt you. When you crawl to the most powerful creator of all time, and he accepts you, that is no way shape or form, weakness.
Every time I ask God to help me deny myself, I am asking for help when it comes to drama issues. Slowly I figured out that the more control that you give over to God, the more of your life you have control of. When you give him your stress, fear and all that junk, you’re left with joy, hope and peace (I haven’t had a stress pimple in ages!). I know it’s hard; it’s hard to just surrender everything to someone that you can’t see. As people we like to be in control over our lives, it’s one of the few things that most of us can have control over. Every day I struggle with the issue of control, it’s not supposed to be easy. Slowly when I did surrender control to God I did it piece by piece. At first I didn’t see major difference and I was really more skeptical than anything else. It wasn’t until I fully trusted God, my faith was burning hot, my soul craved for him did I surrender 100% and believe it or not but at the time when I did surrender my 100% it was one of my darkest times.
The fact that I was still praying to God surprises me even today. I wanted nothing to do with him. I had lost everything that mattered to me and I didn’t feel anything anymore. But it wasn’t necessarily a cry for help, all I said was “God if you want what’s left of me, please be my guest.” I wasn’t being sarcastic or skeptical I was being truthful and I did (somehow) open my heart up, because a part of me wanted to better. God must have delighted in me when I said that because that was the most faith that I had in him and myself in the longest time. The suffering didn’t end right away; I still had to work hard at cleaning up the mess I had gotten myself into. But I felt protected from everything, including myself.
When I told God, “Please be my guest” that was me verbally saying to God take control. He was able to lift me out of the areas in my life that I had gotten myself into that I couldn’t get out myself. I was able to relax and breathe before I faced life again. Denying myself is the same as giving God control. Both things are hard, but both can really help you with drama control and when life places a mountain in front of you. 1Timothy 4:10 says, “This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers.”
Stay strong in your faith my friends! Remember that our war isn’t of flesh and blood but of power and internal struggles. Never lose faith, because although the outcome seems hopeless, in this war we are already declared victorious. John 16:33 Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God Bless.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Secret Three: The Perfect Relationship
But yes I did mess up…tragically. Well this relationship didn’t last long, I refused to give him what he wanted and he left me for it. But often I think to myself, ‘What would have happened if I did have sex with him?’ and I guarantee you, our relationship would have ended sooner than it did. Well the classy son of gun broke up with me the day after Valentines when he told me he loved me. I’m nowhere near heartbroken. God didn't have to protect my heart, because I was smart enough not to let him into a place he didn't deserve. Now that I go back and really take a good long look, that relationship was founded on outward signs of affection. PDA (Public Display of affection) the one thing in relationship I cannot stand but yet my relationship with this man was full of it.
Let me just say ladies, any man that makes you: lower your standards, forces you to do things that you don’t want/like doing, and challenges your moral integrity is SO not worth it! And gentlemen if you ever put in a place where you do that to your girlfriends, not only does she have a right to walk away from that relationship, you need to redirect yourself and where your heart is. For all of you ladies who are looking for biblical help but don’t want to actually open the bible I would recommend the book, Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian. In case you can’t afford this $14.99 book, you should open the bible and read the book of Proverbs (it’s located in the Old Testament). Proverbs chapter 7 warns young men about an adulterous woman. For example Proverbs 7:21-22 “With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter like a deer stepping into a noose.”
God warns men to watch out for these woman but terrible things will happen, for example, she will lead you down to your doom. Wonderful. Men if leading to your doom doesn’t keep you away, and all you want to do is ‘get some’ you really need to rethink how relationships are supposed to work. And women, God is telling you who you should not be; he can’t make the choice for you. God openly says that you should not act like this and if you do, this is what will happen to you. If your relationships never last and leave you empty, that’s your own fault, God warned you. It’s weird that some girls chose to live like this because they are afraid. Yes it is fear that corrupts them. They are worried that their life isn’t complete without a man attached to their arm. They are unable to remember who there were as individuals before Mr. Perfect came along. I know what it’s like, because I’ve almost been there.
I wanted a guy because I thought that I would be better off. I trusted man with my most valuable treasure…my heart. But surprise men hurt my heart, damaged it and left it broken in the dust. However, it is NOT entirely man’s fault. I was irrational, self-centered, and foolish. I thought I knew what I wanted when the truth of the matter was, I was way off target. Like Mary Kassian said about relationships. “You will never get your behavior toward men or your relationships right UNTIL you FIRST get your heart right before God” (Kassian, 33). Your relationships will always miss there marks UNTIL you FIRST are right before God. Kassian says that you can try to have all the best relationships in the world but first comes first, and the bible says that God must come first.
The funny thing about God is, the more we push him away the more he longs for us, to heal us. I had pushed everyone away, and I kept to myself. While others (including myself) had given up on me, God didn’t. Every day he would ask to be in my heart, to repair my heartbreak, and he isn’t like man who would leave me, he is God who would love me no matter what we have done. But I refused. It wasn’t until I heard him through a lesson about freedom when I finally let my walls down. God did exactly what he promised to do, and immediately he replaced my heart with his, one that long for him, one that was pure again.
Proverbs 31 explains what a treasured woman is. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31: 25-26) “A Girl-Gone-Wise is concerned about keeping the inner, hidden parts of her life just as pure as the outer, visible ones” (Kassian, 179). I won’t lie; I still struggle to stay pure. It’s a struggle I have to face because of the mistakes of the past, and I most likely will continue fighting the urges of sexual pleasure until the day I’m married. However I have made huge changes in my life. My heart is facing the right direction; God is flourishing in my heart. My heart doesn’t long for the touch of man, it longs for the touch of God. I know that I am worthy of a man made and sent by God, but my heart isn’t ready just yet. God is still working through my life. I put God first and now my life seems to be on track. Sure, I’ll need patients and maybe I’m not supposed to get married but my heart has to stay on a reserve for God. If that’s the case, then I have already found my perfect match.
It’s been almost a year sense I’ve held myself to sexual purity. I have put God first, and I have promised a year to just God in my heart. I redefining myself, my relationships with my best friends, my relationships with my family and most importantly, my relationship with God will be set in stone. “A Girl-Gone-Wise knows that no man on the face of earth could ever fill the God-shaped vacuum in her heart. She doesn't depend on men for her sense of self. She delights in the Lord and depends on Him to give her the desires of her heart” (Kassian, 182).
I am right there with you if you too struggle with the same issues. However, if you are trapped in this vicious cycle there is a way out. God won’t hurt you the way man has; I promise my all God will never try to harm you. He loves you unconditionally, and no matter what he will always been here, even if you don’t think he is. Remember, I still mess up; I may slip up with my sexual purity. But no matter what God will always help me through…all you have to do is ask.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Secret Two: I know how to win wars
If there is one time period that I could go back to, it would have to be the medieval ages. Knights in shining armor, Prince and Princesses, Sword battles and the plague…you know good stuff. I am obsess with the medieval ages, but primarily there way of fighting. Today I think that guns are a lovely way of cheating, with a sword you need talent and skills. That’s right, not everyone could have been a soldier. With sword fighting you survived on your skills and strength, not your ability to pull a trigger. But why I’m so fascinated in this is because of Ephesians 6: 10-20:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”
Long passage right! But it packs so much information that we need to understand. First thing to understand is that we are currently in a spiritual war. Demons are walking all around us trying to corrupt us from the beauty of God. Why are they demons instead of the devil coming at us? Because the devil is not God, he is not omnipresent. Some people tell me that the devil and God are like brothers just one is evil and the other good. This isn’t the ying-yang, there is only one mighty power and that is God. Remember the devil (Lucifer, Satan) used to be an angel of God, thus meaning that Satan and God are NOT the same.
So the spiritual war is all around us. Although if you believe and have faith in Jesus Christ you are promised eternal life, we are still engaging in this war. Why? Because Satan doesn’t want us to have faith in God. Think about it, the more faith that you have, the harder (it seems) your struggles are. We are constantly under assault, from Satan and the temptations of this world. As a Christian we are constantly struggling against more than one force, the forces of the world, the forces of temptations through the devil and his demons and sometimes even with ourselves. Verse 12 (for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms) this war isn’t a normal war, nothing in the spiritual mindset is ever ‘normal.’ The devil doesn't want our bodies; he wants our hearts, the same thing God is trying to protect and without the proper armor, were toast.
But fret not! Paul continues to write in the passage above about ways we can to stand firm. He talks about armor that will help us in the war. First he gives us encouragement to stand firm and on our ground and when you have done everything else, just to stand. Next Paul explains about we can protect ourselves. Alright people…let’s dress for war!
The Belt of Truth: Sometimes I wish the truth was more spectacular than a belt. You know what a belt’s function is? To hold your pants up! Not something you would really associate with truth. Okay let’s think about this deeper. Satan is always feeding us lies, some of them sound like truth. Often we buy into the lies that he sells to us. With the Belt of Truth wrapped tightly around us, we are able to see God’s truth. Belts securely wrap our pants around our waists, making sure that they won’t fall. The Belt of Truth wraps securely around our waists making sure that we only fix our eyes on God’s truth.
The Breastplate of Righteousness: Question! What is (spiritually) the most important organ in your body? If you said the heart you are correct! The function of a breastplate is to protect the precious organs, the lungs, liver, and kidneys but the most important organ its protecting is the heart. The heart is what both sides want. God wants to protect it, live within us, and love us and the heart, you could say, is where he sets up his headquarters. Satan wants to contaminate your heart, fill it with hatred, emptiness and fear. I bet you once Satan has your heart he’ll throw it to the curb and go looking for another heart to corrupt. The Righteous heart is filled with self value, respect and love that come from God. The breastplate protects our most valued treasure.
The Footgear of Peace: Okay let me just say, I didn’t make up these names. Footgear, you know, shoes, sandals even flip-flops. I think it has to do more along the lines of walking. If we walk without shoes our feet could get scared and ruined, shoes protect us. Shoes are one of the last things that we put on when getting ready for the day. We are getting ready but we are not fully ready until our feet are protected. Our feet push us forward; they carry a load from one place to another…To one country to another. Peace can also be the Good News that Jesus died for our sins and rose again. Some would say that people don’t want to hear it, that it’s useless to try but people try anyways. The people that do have the right footgear on. Satan will tell us everything he can to make sure that no one hears the Good News. Our feet motivate us to continue to move forward and share the Peace that everyone needs to hear.
Shield of Faith: Paul said that the shield will protect us for the flaming arrows of the Devil. The arrows could be insults, temptations and any kind of setback. The shield is the only true defense that we have before the arrows get to the rest of the armor. So far each piece has only protected one part of the person, but a shield can protect all of us. However, I do believe that some shields can be weaker than others. Those who have little faith in God will most likely have smaller, weaker shields. Those who faith completely upon the Lord will have stronger, much larger shields. It all depends on your own faith with your heavenly father. You can even say, if you have no faith in God then you don't have a shield. When we stand with unshakable faith, nothing is impossible because God said through him all things are possible. We are fighting a war where Christians are target because we have the truth, our faith is our main defense and our strong hold. I pray my brothers and sisters that you stand strongly rooted in the faith towards God.
The Helmet of Salvation: Commonly people ask themselves, “Am I Good enough to go to heaven?” While the real question should be, “Do I have salvation in the Lord?”Salvation is the understanding that you are going to heaven because you have committed your life to God and you have been washed clean by Jesus’ blood. The Helmet of Salvation protects our ears from hearing the doubt that Satan tries to feed us. That we are not worthy, that we are not going to heaven. HECK! Even things from this world can have that negative effect on us! Music that has degrading lyrics, media telling us that we aren’t being who we are made to be unless we have *fill in the blank* the helmet provides protection again such lies and helps us understand that we are worthy. From one of my favorite comedians Brad Stine said, “When the creator of matter [God] tells you that you matter, then you will have purpose.” God gives you a wonderful meaning to your life. The helmet of salvation helps us remember what he traded for our lives. He gave his son so that we might find life in him. That, my friends, is something worth protecting.
The Sword of the Spirit: The bible! YAH!! We have two weapons that we can use against the evil one, prayer and scripture. The sword is our only physical weapon against these attacks, and it’s the only physical weapon we need. Even Jesus used scripture from the Old Testament to cast away the devil when he was being tempted in the desert. In the bible, God fills its pages with promises of life and joy with him until the end of time. That, right there can turn into a powerful weapon. God’s promises are the offence against anything that Satan can promise us. But it all ties together. We have to believe in the bible (God’s promises) to have strong faith, through faith we find out that through God we have Salvation, through Salvation comes Righteousness, Righteousness comes Truth and with Truth we spread it to all nations of the world. Weird how things would out like that. J
Although the sword is the only weapon listed, there is something else we can do. Pray. Paul said to pray on all occasions. Prayer works in several ways. It keeps a strong communicating relationship with God, it helps us get rid of emotions such as fear, worry and doubt, it can relax the heart and the body and it can even help us find strength and courage we never knew we had. But prayer can also help us fight in this spiritual war. With prayer we can tell Satan to leave us alone, ask God to help us fight back, and sometimes when we trust and pray hard enough hearts can be changed and people are protected. Jesus said in the book of Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Prayer is a powerful thing my friends. The armor is only as strong as your relationship with God is, remember that we are in a spiritual war, and like any war it should be taken seriously. I pray that you all find the strength to stand and fight against the attacks from the evil one and remember that even though we fight in a war, the victory is already ours.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Secret one: What about me?
On the outside you see me as a girl who has brown hair, brown eyes and a perfect smile (or so I think) but like any person we try to get to know each other because my eye and hair color cover about 80% of the world’s population. Now I could say that I’m a fun person, I love to kick back and chill with my best friends and family and I try as hard as I can to be true to myself and everyone, but I think that people have the right to hold their own opinion of me. I can say all of that stuff, but it’s ultimately you who passes judgment onto me.
However, there is one thing that I hold myself accountable in EVERY relationship that I have. Sometimes I fail at this; some people even find it too pushy, others don’t want to hear it, others can’t get enough. I am a Christian. I try reading the bible as often as I can, I pray every night, I pray on every occasion. I will not deny my faith and you can bet your pretty face, I would die for my God. I try to live my life by the bible and I try acting the way Jesus acted. However, I do FAIL more than I would like to. I have made mistakes, I have knowingly denied doing the right thing, and I have let my emotions get the better of me. I have sinned but I have made myself right with God.
I know I’m not perfect, not even close…to the world’s standard. To my God I am perfect. I remember that every day and every day I find people, objects, and ideas that try to tell me otherwise. I’ve been through many fires and I’ve come out with scars and burns but I’ve continued to walk forward towards a bigger prize. I’ve been the friend that has hurt others and I have numerous people that have hurt me. I have done the unpopular choice because my faith says it isn’t right, (and by the way that’s not God who chose for me, that was my own moral standing) and I’ve been cruelly made fun of for it. I try to be the friend that’s always there for you but like I said I’m not perfect in the eyes of the world. But I don’t care about this world; it’s the eyes of God that I’m most concerned about.
There are times that I have been hopeless; there are times when I have been blessed by God so abundantly. I have been blessed by God with two amazing friends, two amazing sisters, one amazing brother and mentors and friends that I couldn’t live without. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect, far from it. I pray for the strength to fight the spiritual battle that we all face, because this war isn’t of flesh and blood. I pray that you stand and fight for the side of Honor in God, because the war is upon us, but we have already won!
So here it is…secret one. Right out in the open for all to see. I am not ashamed or embarrassed. I pray that all who read this will know that I am praying for you too. God bless!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~ John 16:33
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