Secret Thirteen: You are NOT a Disappointment

            I don’t care what you've been told throughout your entire childhood, adolescent life, or even now; you are in NO WAY a disappointment. And I only need one truth to counteract all the lies that have said that you were/are a disappointment: You are created in the image and likeness of God, because of that truth, your life has purpose. God doesn't make disappointments: God made you: so mathematically speaking, you are NOT a disappointment. You may not know this my friends, but God made each and every one of us out of love. God loves us so much that we can’t even begin to grasp the idea of just how much He loves us. But it’s human nature that we’re used to. As humans we hurt each other, we kill, we lie and we steal. Why? It’s human nature. In order to bring ourselves up, others must come down. But also God has give humans (specially) the gift of free will and choice. Animals do not have free will. This is the truth that separates us from them. That means, humans have a choice to act this way. Free will was a gift from God to prove His love for us. It’s like God took time and hand crafted each one of us. But as humans we fail and we fall.

            As some of you may know, I’m a psychology major. And in psychology, especially counseling practices, we have learned that changing the person will never happen if you do not address the behavior attached to it. When one of my students or even friends does something that I find inappropriate or unacceptable, I let them know, the more I let them know, the higher chance of me never seeing that kind of behavior again. This is called consequence. Negative behavior = negative consequence: Positive behavior = positive consequence. Still confused?  Look at it this way, a four year old says a bad word; you have to explain how that word is unacceptable to say (addressing the behavior). Then you put the child in time-out (negative consequence). Over time, the child may realize that, ‘When I say this word, I get a time-out.’ And that will lead to the stopping of that behavior. Now let’s look at it in a positive way. Four year old helps set the table without being asked, (positive behavior). The mother says, ‘Thank you so much! You are so helpful.’ (Addressing the behavior). Then the child may get an extra treat, or even more praise from mom and dad (positive consequence). The child learns that the behavior is accepted; over time the child will continue to repeat this behavior. This is how most therapist and counselors practice, it’s much easier to change a behavior. Behaviors can be disappointments, but not the people who do them.

            I always write my secrets with the help of my own personal experience, I have walked this path my friends. I used to think that I was a disappointment. This feeling of lack of self-wroth led to reckless behavior. And because the people around me reinforced the fact that it was ME that was a disappointment and not my behavior, I thought to myself “Well why the f**k try?” My own disappointment led me to do stupid things; things that stole more and more of my self-worth away. It was a vicious cycle that almost left me for dead because I had compared the value of my own life against my self-worth. At this time, I no longer had a reason to keep living.

            If you want to know what weakness looked like, my friends, you should have seen me at this time. I had let that disappointment lie consume me into almost taking my own life, but like I said before and will continue to say, GOD DOESN’T MAKE DISAPPOINTMENTS!! And He will do everything He can (without taking away free will) to make sure that you know that you are not a disappointment. The moment I started listening to God, the more I realized I was given as a gift to the world for a purpose. Before I was born, God had breathed meaning into my life. God has even reminded me multiple times, “Through you, Arielle, I will do great things!” Powerful, powerful words my friends!

            My favorite comedian, Brad Stine, once said, “When the creator of matter [God] tells you, ‘YOU MATTER!’ then you will have purpose…” Wise words from a funny man. Think about it for a second, the creator of the world and the king over everything looks down from heaven, His perfection, and says to you, “I have crated you for Me; I formed you in your mother’s womb for Me, I knew and CALLED you by name before you were born!” God took the time to know and love us before we were CREATED! Now think, if you were truly a disappointment do you think God would take the time to call you by name? To love you? To create you?

            I have friends that have been called ‘uh-oh’ babies. And if there is one thing that really gets under my skin and can get me to stand on my soap box, it’s when people call children, mistakes. That is the ultimate (to me) form of calling someone a disappointment, and it sicken me. Children that weren’t planned, born out of wedlock, or we can go so far as to even say, handicapped will ALWAYS be miracles regardless of the behavior or situation that led to their creation. God still created them, He still plans great things for their lives, He still loves them. GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES: GOD DOESN’T MAKE DISAPPOINTMENTS!! AND CERTAINLY GOD DOESN’T MAKE ‘UH-OH’ BABIES!! When God created you He put: Priceless, on your tag, because you are so valuable to Him, it’s like you are His treasure. You are so incredibly valuable He willing sent His own perfect son, Jesus, to die on the cross for you so that when you die, you get to be with Him. Jesus was even grateful for doing it; we went from being called slaves, to friends.  

            How powerful is that my friends? We went from slaves to friends, what a jump! I will always say this, my friends, but it’s the truth. You are not a disappointment! If you don’t believe me its fine, but take it up to God, ask Him. I know 100% He loves you so much, more than you will ever know!

God Bless my friends!