Secret Nineteen: God the Father

When I was younger I always thought of God as this big guy, hanging out with angels in the heavens, and not wanted to have any part with us humans. Then as I grew a little older I thought of God as always angry at us for messing up. Now recently I thought God was just never there for us when we needed him the most. It took me almost 22 years to figure out but I am wrong about all of that. God is in heaven but his actively involved in wanting to be a part of our lives, God does get angry but he is more loving, companionate and always willing to take us back when we do something wrong, and God is always here, always talking to us, it’s us that need to listen. As I look more and more into the character which is God the more I see a similarity to my father. My father, Tom, is a fun kind of guy. We like to make jokes, play around and hang out. He is stern when I need to get something done and he always has a hug and kiss ready to go when I need one. And I know he’s the greatest father ever because he even does my taxes for me! But there is one thing about my father that makes him so similar to God…His love. 

I’m 22 years old. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I’ve done things I knew were wrong. Even after my father found out about these things, he still continues to love me. I never knew how luckily I was to have a father like this. I have close friends that have fathers that they want nothing to do with, fathers that have been absent in their childhoods. Fathers that aren’t really fathers. I will admit it; I take my father for granted. He’s always there for me and he will never stop loving me. God is the same way; there is nothing you can do that can make him love you less when what he loves you right now, nothing. The difference between my father and God is that God’s love is absolutely perfect. As hard as my father tries he will never be able to fill the void in my heart. This void is vast, and I’ve tried to fill it with material things, other people even tried to fill it with loving myself. Nothing. It’s like a puzzle with a missing piece, the piece is God. 

For those of you who never had a father growing up or had a father that wasn’t the greatest, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I truly am sorry. But there is a father that would like to be a part of your life. You got it, God. The perfect father. If you need proof that God is a great father just look at God’s character in the New Testament, when Jesus walked the world. Jesus (who is also God) showed the people that God really cares about them. Not caring what they have done, but just wanting to be with us. He healed the sick, feed the hungry, preformed miracles but he also hung out with the ‘least popular.’ God wanted us to know how much we love him, so he sent down his one and only son, to take our place. Now let’s look at this in a parental perspective: how many of us would give up our one and only son to take on others mistakes. Personally I wouldn’t do it, but God did. He gave up his perfect son for us, all for love.

God will always love his children no matter what we’ve done. He was there when we were conceived, he was there when we were born, he was there when some of our father’s left, he was there when we were hurting, he was there when we messed up, he was there when he welcomed us back, he’ll be there when we die and he will be waiting to welcome us home. God was and will always be there, loving us. Nothing you can do will ever separate us from God wanting to be apart of our lives, every day, constantly. God will always be apart of our lives whether we want him there or not. He is a loving father that just wants the best for us. Pray for me my friends, that I may stay on the path of righteousness. God Bless.

Secret Eighteen: We are created to be more.

Yes my dear friends we are created to be more that what you see before you. That's something special, something wonderful. We are simply made to be more than what we think we are made for. A few secrets ago we talked about being created with a purpose, put some meaning into our lives and it's true. But recently I've been reading about how we need to be more…more. What inspires us? Drives us? What causes to be the very best we can be? But I also learned something that is closely tied into this, we cannot be more, without help. You see I've learned something about will power, it's limited. Think of it like a gas tank for your car. You fill it up with fuel and you can go anywhere you want, but eventually you'll run out of gas. Will power is just like that. You have a limited amount per day that we can use. So when you use up your will power, you'll shove your face with ice-cream, you'll not go on your run, you won't mow the lawn. As humans, we are limited beings. We can only do so much in our power, but think about it. God doesn't have limitations or tanks that run out of gas. He's the creator and he can do more that we can possibly imagine. 

When God works through us we can do things that we never thought our minds and body could do. Just take the bible for instant Kind David in the Old Testament. For those of you who don't know the story, it starts with the Israelites in this war with the Philistines and King Saul didn't know what to do. The Philistines had this huge man, almost a giant named Goliath. Goliath was confident that no one in the Israelite army could defeat him so he purposed a challenged. If someone could come and kill Goliath then the Philistines would lay down their weapons and become the Israelites slaves but if Goliath wins then the Israelites become the Philistines slaves. Now at this time, David was a small boy that took care of sheep but God saw something more in him. While taking food to his brothers that were in the army, David over hears the challenge set up by Goliath and accepted it. David was so confident in what the Lord had already done for him, he spoke these words to the King, "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." (1 Samuel 17:37). You might be thinking to yourself, he must have had a mighty sword or sharp bow and arrow to defend him. No. David had a sling shot (the weapon of all little boys) and five smooth stones, that's it. No armor, no strong weapons. But God used David for more than what we humans can understand. David was a young shepherd, not made for battle, not made for anything but herding sheep, but in one spilt second he became more because God wanted him to be more. At the end of the story David loads up his sling shot and starts twirling around while Goliath is charging at him, and with one smooth shot hits him right in the fore head. Killing him instantly. David later become King over the Israelites and he was a darn good king. 

There does't need to be anything special about you, God will use just about anyone. In one of my favorite movies Facing the Giants (which is kind of like the story of David and Goliath) the young man (ironically named) David asks why God made him so small and weak. His father replies, "God made you small and weak to show how mighty and powerful he is." THAT IS SO TRUE!! Without God we are weak and powerless but with God, we can do incredible things. It's written if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can tell the mountains to get up and move and they will. As humans we can't do that. We can scale mountains to get over them but that in itself take a lot of will power, as humans with God fighting on our side we can tell the mountains to get up and move and they will. There is nothing impossible for the God that made possibilities from nothing. So not only are we created with purpose we are created to be more than we could possibly imagine and that to me is something worth worshiping about. 

Please continue to pray my friends, find out what God wants from you and how he can make you more that you ever thought possible.

Secret Seventeen: Human Nature

            I was reading some of my more recent blogs and I noticed I talk a lot about human nature. But I say a lot of negative things. Is that really all human nature is? We lie, we cheat and we steal and hurt each other. Everyone knows that there is way more to us than that. I apologies for making us humans sound so bad because there is a whole different side to us. We feel love, compassion, and kindness. We are brave, curious and playful at times. We challenge ourselves to go above and beyond to where the sky is the limit on what we can and cannot do. We have made systems and machines to make our day-to-day lives easier. We humans, if I may say so myself, are pretty smart homo-sapiens. And even the stiff that we makes us…us is so well crafted so well, we can’t even explain how it all comes together. From DNA that is perfectly strung in out throughout our whole being, to the different personalities that makes us who we are we are perfectly divine creatures.

            It’s incredible to look at us and think…our entire being is complexly made, everything to our DNA to parts of our personalities, it makes me think…who had time to make us like this? It breaks my heart when a girl looks into the mirror and things to herself ‘why do I look so ugly?’ Does she not know that she was beautifully made? Well if she doesn’t, it’s our job to tell her. Humans have our own nature…animals are all clumped into one. Humans are made in the image and likeness of God, we are the divine creation. But as humans, we forget that sometimes, I am no exception. I had forgotten that I was made divinely and wonderfully. I had let the lies that I was ugly, fat, stupid, and second rate get into my head and rip me apart from the inside out. It was emotionally and spiritually destroyed. Thankfully our father, the Divine Creator, says otherwise. We are made, each, with the fingerprint of God on our hearts, meaning we are his children. <- that right there…FANTASTIC NEWS! Every fiber to the talents and abilities that set each of us apart was hand crafted for each of us.

My reminder that I am made by God

            I decided that enough was enough. I wanted to believe in the human nature that is encouraging and wonderful, so I got rid of the lies. It’s been a challenge trying to get rid of the lies, I needed a constant reminder. I tried, racking my brain, to figure out the best kind of reminder to help get me through this. But let me tell you friends…My memory sucks. I kept falling back into the lies and it was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t stop. So I tried one last thing…I got a tattoo. My tattoo is in my left inner arm and the words ‘Divinely Made’ is written beautifully. It’s the first of my three tattoos that you can see. Everyday this tattoo does exactly what it’s supposed to do. When I look at it in the mirror I am reminded everyday that I am divinely made.

            We are incredibly made my friend. It took a lot of detailed work into make me…me and you, well, you. God made human nature to be our greatest nature. We are made in the image and likeness of God. We can love and be compassionate and curious. Remember that we are beautiful creatures in the eyes of the creator of Heaven. My prayer for you, my friends, is that you are reminded everyday that you’re a wonderful creation of God. 

Secret Sixteen: I’m Not That Different

I'm Not That Different...just goofy!

            Well there is a shocker there. I’m not that different for any other person. I like to sleep more than I like to study, I love to hang out with my friends and spend time with my family. And sometimes if I’m not careful, I’ll put deodorant marks on my shirt when I put it on. I’m not that different, but that also means that as a human I also have dark secrets. Secrets that I’m required to keep to myself because I fear them, just like anyone else. But, like I’ve written before, secrets keep us shackled. And the more I’ve uncovered these secrets to the outer world, the more I realized…I’m really not that different. Other people go through the same kinds of problems and face the same kind of mountains. We keep secrets that we feel are so disturbing it causes us to become mad about what people think about us. Some of you know some of my more…public secrets. Like the fact that I’ve had sex outside of marriage and how I feel like that was the worst mistake of my life. Another secret that some of you may know is that I hate latex for no outright reason. But if I want to be super honest with you guys and I really want to believe in what my Blog is about I need to share with you something new, something (for some reason) has me chained down…my darkest secret.

            If it isn’t scary enough that I’m about to tell you my deepest darkest secret but I’m also telling you what I’m doing about it, you know, to not let it take over my life. In November of 2012 I tried doing the dumbest thing I could…I tried to kill myself. Yeah, I know. Kind of a lot to take in, but it’s the truth. I had reached a moment in my life where I thought I couldn’t escape. A dark place where I thought was nothing else to live for. I was (or what I thought) betrayed by friends, alone, struggling with issues that I thought no one else has ever dealt with. Thankfully, however, I couldn’t go through with it and I went to find help. I was admitted into a hospital for about six days where I found out that my life is pretty good. Some of the people in that wing with me had real issues. Addicted to substances and alcohol, anger and emotional issues that left them unable to function in society, some people had lost everything and couldn’t see the light anymore. I came to the realization…I don’t belong here.

            After that I was diagnosed with ‘manic’ depression. Meaning I’m usually in a really down-in-the-dumps mood and it’s really hard for me to get out of it. Sometimes my depression can get so bad that I start seeing and hearing things that isn’t there. It’s scary stuff and thankfully I’m on medication that helps me fight against my depression. It took a while for me to accept the fact that depression is my new reality…my new normal. It was a fight to take my medication everyday and find things that make me happy. However, the more I looked at my problems the more I discovered, depression is common. I did some research on it and it turns out…everyone get’s depressed at one time or another. It’s our ability to bounce back that make us so special. I just didn’t have the ability to bounce back, but for the first time in a while, I felt normal. As I kept researching about depression I realized that we all face different battles and mountains, but some of our struggles (a lot of them actually) are similar.

            This is where my spirituality comes into play. Look at it this way, God is the creator; he is the one that made everything. He is the one that holds all the original ‘creative ideas’ and it’s through him where our creativity comes from. The devil isn’t God; he can’t think of a creative ideas, nothing about the devil is original. So when we battle issues, there is bound to be someone out there that has gone through the same thing. The devil can’t be original meaning that no matter how lonely we feel there are others fighting the same battle. That’s great news! “The greatest lie you have ever been told is that you’re the only one to go through this alone.” – Superchick. God is creative, that’s why when we experience him, and it’s in a way that no one else can feel. It’s just for us; it’s all about our relationship with him…very personal.

            I’m no different by any means, I struggle like most people, I have issues that I need to deal with and I come face to face with mountains that I sometimes think are too big to climb over. But the thing that really helps me get through this is that the God of heavens and earth will look down at me and bless me with love and grace. I’m not that different friends, I guarantee most of you have faced the same struggles that got me into the hospital and you were able to do something that I couldn’t at that moment in time, fight back.

            Let me pray for you friends, that when you come to those points in your life when it seems too hard to go on or it seems hopeless that you will find comfort in the God who what’s to give you everything. I pray that you are able to fight against the devil and his lies that he may tell you and that you are a beautiful and wonderful creation to the Father of Heaven.

Secret Fifteen: Giving Until It Hurts.

Secret Fifteen: Giving Until It Hurts.

            Before you get worried that I’m going to ask you to donate all of your money away, I’m not.  I’m not going to say but you need to give all of your money to a church or charity in need. Don’t worry I’m not gonna tell you that you need to get rid of any money. This secret isn’t about money at all; in fact money has nothing to do with this. I can’t help but think of the season we just got out of, Christmas.  Christmas is a time of year are we giving to others to show love, and that’s true.  But why is only one time if these year? Why is that we only gave during Christmas?  This secret it’s about giving but also about sacrifice. I said the “sacrifice” word!

            Let me explain an example of sacrifice, just the other day I witness something simple but it moved us all in the classroom. It was in my social problems class, we were talking about how the paychecks don’t keep up with the cost of living. The subject quickly moved to students having to choose whether to go to work or to school simply because they cannot afford the gas. We also talked a lot about selfishness and how people of power won’t give their money to people that are in need. Suddenly a girl in my class, Jenny, explained how she didn’t have enough gas to make it to school and to work and she didn’t even know if she could make it home. She thought it was important to go to school rather than to work but wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to afford the bills. Suddenly a friend of mine, Meg, chimes in and says “I have $10.00 on the right now if you want it.” Jenny looks at her and replies in a sarcastic way, “You’re kidding me right?” Meg nodded her head, completely serious. Suddenly and to all of our surprise, Jenny bursts into tears Jen kept asking Meg if she was really going to give her $10.00 Meg dropped it next to her and suddenly every girl in the class had tears in their eyes.

            What is this special about a $10.00 bill? What makes a $10.00 bills so powerful and moving it would make every girl cry? NOTHING!! There is nothing special about $10.00. There was nothing special about the money that Meg gave to Jenny. I understand that times are hard and understand that America is going through a financial crisis. But that doesn’t stop us from helping those in need. In the book of Matthew chapter 25: 31, Jesus called those on his right (the sheep) blessed because a fed, clothed, prepared a room for, cared for, visited, and gave something to eat and to drink for the least of my children… they did it for me [Jesus]. Jesus never required us to give money anywhere in the verse. In a passage Jesus required sacrificing ourselves, a gift of time and compassion for each other. To be honest I don’t think God cares about money.

            You can give a lot of things until it hurts things like money, time, talent, and materialistic thing but that doesn’t matter if you don’t do it out of love. Now that I think about it God gave until it hurt. In fact he gave his only son for us. He gave us the one thing we didn’t deserve and as humans we don’t deserve a lot of thing. Jesus died on the cross for everybody regardless of what you’ve done or will do in the future. So when I say give until it hurts are we doing it for the right reasons? Should we really give until it hurts and should be given because we all have received the greatest gift ever? Should we give because God gave to us? Something you should also know my friend, God gave to us out of love because, like I said, we don’t deserve it. So next time when you hear the phrase, “give until it hurts,” remember what God gave to us so freely and out of love.

            I’m pretty sure that Meg didn’t do it to be recognized in the court of God as an angel; she did it because that’s who she has. Meg has a beautiful personality and she, unknowingly, became a blessing not only for Jenny but also for everyone that was in that class that day. God also saw her blessing and he will give twice to Meg what she gave that day, all out of love. Although she didn’t know it, Meg became a blessing that day. We are all born blessed to be blessings.

            This time I’m going to challenge you my friends. I want you to give because you love God.  I don’t want you to give all of your money away, try giving love, time, talent or anything else you think God has blessed you with. If you feel like sharing, go ahead and leave a comment, or send me an e-mail. God bless my friends, I’m still praying for you!  

Secret Fourteen: Breathing Forgiveness

Secret Fourteen: Breathing Forgiveness

            Let me say this before we get started, I am NOT a worldwide expert on the subject of forgiveness. I am not an expert about the subject just as much as doing the subject. But let’s face it friends, we all need it. At one point sometime in our lives we have messed up regardless if it was on purpose or an accident. And at that point we’ve needed forgiveness. I am no exception to this rule; I have fallen many times with many different people. Including God and it is God that I usually forget to ask forgiveness from. This is weird to me because it is God that will always NO MATTER WHAT will forgive as well as forget the mistake that we’ve made.

Forgiveness is a common and confusing thing to most people. In our world forgiveness comes (normally) with a price: guilt, regret, even spite. But our world view of forgiveness is a wrong view. Society sometime may label forgiveness is something that the weak do, something that goes to those who don't deserve it. And some like to hold forgiveness from each other, like it’s some kind of thing we have over them. As for me, I view forgiveness as a necessity. In the bible, in the book of Matthew 6:14-15 it says "for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sin." We all do things that hurt people; we lie, cheat, steal and hurt one another. It's human nature after the fall happen, people hurt people. So if it’s so natural for people to hurt people then shouldn't forgiveness be second nature? Answer: course not!! Forgiveness is you GIVING UP your RIGHT to HURT someone after THEY have HURT you and that is something most people don’t want to give up. That is an "out-of-human" response. It's natural for us to hurt each other; it is unnatural for us to forgive each other. We feel that if we hold on to the pain that others cause us it somehow reminds us of others (or even our own) mistakes and then (and sadly) it becomes a heavy burden we carry. We can hurt ourselves from doing that and that means...yes...we also must learn to forgive ourselves. But why is forgiveness so hard?? What causes it to be so painful no one likes to do it?? Easy. It's humbling yourself before another. When I say that you are giving up the right to hurt someone else...you literally ARE giving up the right to the other person. 

If you are asking for forgiveness you are humbling yourself before another person, that's hard to do. But for those on the other end have an equally hard task because showing mercy means to get down to the same level of humbleness and saying its okay, then letting go of all pain and wrong done to you. It's not an easy thing to do but we are required to do it. Why?? Because if we don't forgive others of their wrong doing that means when we do wrong doings God will not forgive us. He is both a just and merciful God. Meaning he will show mercy to those that deserve it. Jesus came down and died so we can find peace for our sins. Confused still?? View it like this, we as human are the broken toys in the store that no one wants, sooner or later we will be thrown away, but then, just before we are discarded, a toy maker comes and buys us all. He is able to fix us and make us whole again, but sometimes we still break. And he will continue to fix us and make us whole again. God paid for us to be repaired, he paid for our lives and the chance to be with him forever. That is the perfect example of forgiveness and it’s all because of love. But there is more to forgiveness that we realize, because we need to be genuine about it. I understand, if someone does something that really hurts you, they don’t deserve it, but remember friends…neither do we. If we want our forgiveness to be real and genuine, then let’s forgive real and genuinely to each other.

So why would I call this entry “Breathing Forgiveness?” Easy, forgiveness should be that natural. You’ll be surprised with what you find, because when we forgive others, we are setting them free but also ourselves. We are releasing that chain they had wrapped around them and we ourselves become truly free.  Remember we are no way excused from forgiving and according to the bible it is a requirement for Christians. For those of you that really want to learn more about this I would check out Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” from his album Into the Light.

Continue to pray for me friend and I will continue to pray for you! God Bless! 

Secret Thirteen: You are NOT a Disappointment

            I don’t care what you've been told throughout your entire childhood, adolescent life, or even now; you are in NO WAY a disappointment. And I only need one truth to counteract all the lies that have said that you were/are a disappointment: You are created in the image and likeness of God, because of that truth, your life has purpose. God doesn't make disappointments: God made you: so mathematically speaking, you are NOT a disappointment. You may not know this my friends, but God made each and every one of us out of love. God loves us so much that we can’t even begin to grasp the idea of just how much He loves us. But it’s human nature that we’re used to. As humans we hurt each other, we kill, we lie and we steal. Why? It’s human nature. In order to bring ourselves up, others must come down. But also God has give humans (specially) the gift of free will and choice. Animals do not have free will. This is the truth that separates us from them. That means, humans have a choice to act this way. Free will was a gift from God to prove His love for us. It’s like God took time and hand crafted each one of us. But as humans we fail and we fall.

            As some of you may know, I’m a psychology major. And in psychology, especially counseling practices, we have learned that changing the person will never happen if you do not address the behavior attached to it. When one of my students or even friends does something that I find inappropriate or unacceptable, I let them know, the more I let them know, the higher chance of me never seeing that kind of behavior again. This is called consequence. Negative behavior = negative consequence: Positive behavior = positive consequence. Still confused?  Look at it this way, a four year old says a bad word; you have to explain how that word is unacceptable to say (addressing the behavior). Then you put the child in time-out (negative consequence). Over time, the child may realize that, ‘When I say this word, I get a time-out.’ And that will lead to the stopping of that behavior. Now let’s look at it in a positive way. Four year old helps set the table without being asked, (positive behavior). The mother says, ‘Thank you so much! You are so helpful.’ (Addressing the behavior). Then the child may get an extra treat, or even more praise from mom and dad (positive consequence). The child learns that the behavior is accepted; over time the child will continue to repeat this behavior. This is how most therapist and counselors practice, it’s much easier to change a behavior. Behaviors can be disappointments, but not the people who do them.

            I always write my secrets with the help of my own personal experience, I have walked this path my friends. I used to think that I was a disappointment. This feeling of lack of self-wroth led to reckless behavior. And because the people around me reinforced the fact that it was ME that was a disappointment and not my behavior, I thought to myself “Well why the f**k try?” My own disappointment led me to do stupid things; things that stole more and more of my self-worth away. It was a vicious cycle that almost left me for dead because I had compared the value of my own life against my self-worth. At this time, I no longer had a reason to keep living.

            If you want to know what weakness looked like, my friends, you should have seen me at this time. I had let that disappointment lie consume me into almost taking my own life, but like I said before and will continue to say, GOD DOESN’T MAKE DISAPPOINTMENTS!! And He will do everything He can (without taking away free will) to make sure that you know that you are not a disappointment. The moment I started listening to God, the more I realized I was given as a gift to the world for a purpose. Before I was born, God had breathed meaning into my life. God has even reminded me multiple times, “Through you, Arielle, I will do great things!” Powerful, powerful words my friends!

            My favorite comedian, Brad Stine, once said, “When the creator of matter [God] tells you, ‘YOU MATTER!’ then you will have purpose…” Wise words from a funny man. Think about it for a second, the creator of the world and the king over everything looks down from heaven, His perfection, and says to you, “I have crated you for Me; I formed you in your mother’s womb for Me, I knew and CALLED you by name before you were born!” God took the time to know and love us before we were CREATED! Now think, if you were truly a disappointment do you think God would take the time to call you by name? To love you? To create you?

            I have friends that have been called ‘uh-oh’ babies. And if there is one thing that really gets under my skin and can get me to stand on my soap box, it’s when people call children, mistakes. That is the ultimate (to me) form of calling someone a disappointment, and it sicken me. Children that weren’t planned, born out of wedlock, or we can go so far as to even say, handicapped will ALWAYS be miracles regardless of the behavior or situation that led to their creation. God still created them, He still plans great things for their lives, He still loves them. GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES: GOD DOESN’T MAKE DISAPPOINTMENTS!! AND CERTAINLY GOD DOESN’T MAKE ‘UH-OH’ BABIES!! When God created you He put: Priceless, on your tag, because you are so valuable to Him, it’s like you are His treasure. You are so incredibly valuable He willing sent His own perfect son, Jesus, to die on the cross for you so that when you die, you get to be with Him. Jesus was even grateful for doing it; we went from being called slaves, to friends.  

            How powerful is that my friends? We went from slaves to friends, what a jump! I will always say this, my friends, but it’s the truth. You are not a disappointment! If you don’t believe me its fine, but take it up to God, ask Him. I know 100% He loves you so much, more than you will ever know!

God Bless my friends!