Sub-secret

Sorry for such the delay my friends, school is taking over my life!! But my prayers have been answered and now I can post blogs directly from my phone!! Look out world, I'm back!!

Christian t-shirts by JCLU Forever

Christian T shirts made by three girls who Love Jesus for girls who Love Jesus. Our shirts are designed to be tools for evangelism. JCLU T shirts have simple faith based statements while being fun and fashionable.




My Blog "I Have A Secret" Is all about my little secrets to help my readers grow in a really awesome relationship with Jesus and help get through some tough times that we all end up having to go through. Sometimes, I may not have the answer and sometimes, the secret may be something that you already know. But if there is one thing that "I Have A Secret" and myself support it is the grow of faith and spiritual empowerment of woman. JCUL is a really awesome public way to show your love for your savior and look cute at the same time. Living on an all female campus I find it now more than necessarily in anyway, shape or form to find ways of  teaching our Future females the lessons and love of Christ. So this secret is to you JCUL! I support everything that you stand for. 


If any of you ladies or gentlemen are interested in buying T Shirts made by these three inspiring woman just follow the link here:  http://jcluforever.com

Secret Ten: To Shorting the Wait for “The One.”

**Pre-note: Male readers this secret also applies to you as well.

But being a female, I’m speaking from a female stand point…just letting you know

            Really? Is it so? Do you really know the secret for shorting the wait for the one? Truth be told…no. Think about it, I’m in my own single season with the Lord, what would I know about relationships with men right now? You know why I don’t know, because that kind of choice is between you and God. We are all at different stages in our life and our relationships with God so it’s completely between you and your relationship with the Most High. However I do know that when you’re waiting for ‘The One” it may be smart to start praying for him. Confused? I understand. The idea of praying for someone that we never met is a hard concept to chew and swallow. But if you really think about it, we pray to a God that no one has seen. You see it’s all a matter of faith. I put my life in a God that I can’t see and I fully trust him to the point that I would die for him. God isn’t only as real as we make him to be, don’t forget friends, God made us not the other way around.

            So moving on to this whole praying for your future husband thing and the concepts that has people worried that you’re choking. When I say praying for your future husband I don’t mean praying to God a list of things that you want in a guy and God magically goes *poof* “Here thy man is for thee!” God already knows your needs and your wants, and what you could need is something that maybe isn’t what you want. But after to talking to my happily married mentors, they have all told me one thing in common about their husbands, they are WAY better than anything they could think up themselves. This proved to me that God really does look out for us because he sends people into our lives to help us grow only so much deeper in love with him. For example, my best friends. I know that all of our paths crossed because God wanted them too, why? Because he loves all three of us. We are strong individually but together we are (shall I dare say it?) Unstoppable!

            So how do you start when praying for your future husband? Well first I’d start pray for his heart. The heart that beats strongly in the Lord is a heart that is worth more than any treasure of the world…or so I like to think. Pray that his heart beats for God, that it remains strong in the Lord. Pray that his heart is deeply in love with God, that his heart is a holy dwelling place for the Lord and his mind is consistently thinking upon Him. When his heart and mind have the focus right, God will keep him protected and have his blood constantly running through him. A man with his heart and mind in the right focus is a man worth waiting for!

            When praying for your future anything it’s all up to you and God. You and God are the only two that really know all about your life. You know the struggle and the heartbreak that you have gone through and you understand what you need and if you have faith, God will provide for you. But this is something a lot of Christians struggle with. It’s hard to put your faith into something you can’t see, it’s hard to know that this God (remind you that you can’t see) is hand-crafting a man out there just for you my lady friends (and men for you it’s vice-versa). But there is one thing I have learned over my years of trusting God, he keeps and delivers his word. Remember God work’s in his own time and when we have spiritually grown to maturity. God can see you and hear your thoughts and concerns, he maybe just waiting for your faith and trust in him. It’s like he’s waiting up in the heavens with a big bucket of blessings ready to pour on you but he’s waiting for you to trust him. Once you do, you become drenched with all sorts of blessings from him.

            I may not know the secret to shorting the wait time, but I do know this. Pray for you future husband and God will throw a few surprises your way. Trust him and I guarantee that God will make your dreams that you haven’t even dreamt of come true. God Bless my brothers and sisters! Remember dear friends, I’m learning right there with yeah!

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” ~Romans 12:12

Secret Nine: The Perfect Nails

Not going to lie, I had a lot ideas as well as a lot of troubles with this secret. I remember I was sitting at my computer at my dining room table thinking of some really awesome secrets; Spiritual Discernment, Friendship, even things like Forgetting and Not Regretting but once I started to type those idea’s I found myself at a loss for words. One day I hope to write them but for that moment of time I was sitting at the table clicking my new French Manicure against the wood table. I got the expensive stuff because I want my manicure to last but it was then when the idea literally clicked. I know the secrets to perfect nails.

Literally the whole idea of nail care is a ridicules concept to me, I mean the only reason I got the nails in the first place is because it was my little sister’s birthday. If it wasn’t that factor I wouldn’t have gotten them. But it makes me think about Jesus and I wondered ‘If Jesus was perfect, did that include nails?’ The answer, I’m not sure. But I do know that Jesus did have perfect nails the day when he showed his brothers and sisters the ultimate sign of obedience. The nails that I’m referring to are the ones that held him to the cross. Those to me are perfect nails. The nails needed to help wipe our debt clean.

A lot of people view the cross as a symbol of ultimate love. Christians often wear it around there necks to show their faith in Christ, when 9/11 happened two steel rods in the shape of the cross remained in the rubble reassuring Christians of the hope and promise of the resurrections, and crosses are often used in hospitals to inspire there team of doctors to love and there patients to hope. I’m not saying that the cross doesn’t mean all of those things, but to me the cross has a completely different meaning.

To me the cross is not a symbol of love but rather obedience. When I wear a cross I’m proclaiming to my God that “I will serve you my Lord, even to death on a cross.” I believe the symbol of love rests in the Man who was nailed to the cross. I know if any human was asked to give their lives to the ransom of the many, we would have said, ‘No.’ But Jesus replied, ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NIV) Did you read that friends? There is NO GREATER LOVE than this: to lay down ONE’S life for ONE’S FRIENDS.” He gave EVERYTHING for us, without hesitation. If Jesus was willing to lay down his life for his friends, what do you think God is willing to do for us? That’s why I think those nails are so perfect. They held Jesus to the cross. It was like the pen Jesus used to sign his life for ours.

Those nails were intended for us, and let me tell you they would have been far less perfect that Jesus’ nails were. Our contracts wouldn’t have been in our favor, it would basically be us signing our life to misery. It may not be what we what but we chose to live a certain way, and we fall because we aren’t perfect. But Jesus was flawless; the nails that pierced him truly pierced perfection. Jesus was 100% man and 100% God meaning, he was a full guy. No wonder Jesus did miracles and love everyone, he would have exploded if he didn’t (or this is my theory of it). Sometimes I wonder if Jesus bleeds pure, not red blood but white. Being human, he would bleed red but in God I can see white.

Jesus blood wipes our sinful hearts white, like bleach removes stains on white clothing. Those nails, the things that helped make the prophecy of Jesus our new reality I think are perfect nails. The cross is a symbol of ultimate obedience, and Jesus, the man/God himself is the symbol and example of perfect and pure love. Jesus chose his death because he wanted us to have new life. His blood is on our contracts; Satan has no power over us because he got the perfect sacrifice. Because Jesus was perfect he couldn’t be in hell, but he did conquer it along with death, sickness and any demonic spirit that roams the earth. He closed the gap for us allowing a way to get to heaven. I pray for you my brothers and sisters that we all come to know the perfect sacrifice and salvation that we have obtained through our Lord Jesus and the God that we serve. God Bless!!

Secret Eight: One Year Check Up: Faith, Trust, and a little Jesus-Musk

As some of you may know I am currently on a one year “break” from dating boys. No dates, no very personal conversations on the phone or texting, no very personal kind of anything except for the title of friends and maybe even good friends. Some of you think this year is stupid and a good waist of this twenty year old woman’s life. Some of you find this year as a joke and some don’t think I can do it and I’ll just keep slipping up. Only a handful of people find what I’m doing to be very brave and fulfilling, but they have also seen the cost in damage I have done to myself in the past that lead me to this choice.

On July 6, 2009 I was set free from a life that almost destroyed me. The girl back then and the girl now have one thing in common…we live at the same address. My life forever changed because God finally broke through to me. But this year is 2011, and the devil works even harder to make his temptations just a bit sweeter for me. Yes, I admit I’ve fallen for some of them, sometimes I knew I was and sometimes I didn’t know until after the damage was done. But now I can feel that girl I once was returning and this time I know if I fall back into that lifestyle, I won’t make it out.

In order to prevent something like that life from happening again I had to find the common denominator of my struggles. I know 99.9% of my sin is because I fall short and mess up. However, the question remains in me…what is the temptation I was falling for the most? One answer rose higher than the rest, my biggest struggle that a lot of my other sins feed from is my struggle with my human counterpart…boys. I prayed and prayed asking God what he wanted me to do and in November of 2010 I heard him say that 2011 would be HIS year.

On January 1, 2011 I gave God a promise that this would, in fact, be his year. And on January 12, I consciously made the decision of walking out of the promise. I chose to break that promise, and I was filled with guilt that consumed me until February, 15 when I asked God for Grace as well as a new promise that my year would start over on that day because this is something that I need. But I still struggle and at times I’ve almost slipped up. But what makes it so hard for me to stay faithful to this promise? I asked this question to myself while putting on a popular men’s deodorant called Axe…

Now for anyone who really knows me, they understand I’m not the definition of a ‘normal’ girl. I’m more muscular than most girls, I enjoy playing hardcore sports rather than shopping, I like the color brown and green over pink and purple any day, and I’m just now starting to understand the function of a purse rather than just carrying everything I need in a wallet. But for those of you who don’t know me too well, I wear men’s deodorant because it last longer and protects better than woman’s deodorant that just makes you smell good. But I will say, I do enjoy the smell of the Axe and before this year started, I enjoyed this smell particularly on men.

I’m not going to lie; sometimes I wonder why I did this one year. I’m finding out that I’m more attractive than I ever relied because I’m getting more offers than I have ever gotten before. And it’s hard, it’s hard for me to say no. For the first time in a while, men have been coming up to me with wild offers that before I would have jumped on. But this year instead of falling in love with a man I find my heart chasing Jesus, everyday. Every day I long to be held by Jesus and talk to him about everything, even ask for advice and have a better relationship with him. I can’t help but hope and pray that whomever God is making for me would be just like (or really, really close) to the way Jesus is treating me. To Jesus, I’m a Princess.

Let me just get this out of the way now…I am NOT attracted to Jesus, meaning I DO NOT think about him romantically. For some reason when I tell people I’m falling head over heels in love with Jesus they think that I’m sexually attractive to him. That isn’t the case at all! The relationship is based on a deeper love called Agape, unconditional love. Nothing will happen to me that will ever separate this love that I have for Jesus. I love Jesus because he makes me stronger, he’s always around me and no matter what I face, and he is always fighting with me. For the first time in my life (and from now on) I am not alone.

This deep of a relationship builds my trust and through trust comes faith and identity. It took me a while but I finally found the base of my identity. Jesus Christ. When my identity is rooted in Christ, my relationship with him grows stronger but I’ve noticed some other changes in myself, primarily with my personality. It was my friends that were the first to noticed, I became softer, sweeter, friendlier. I became more compassionate and forgiving, and it seemed all my old habits began to die. They found my company enjoyable and appropriate and they started treating me with more respect.

Now with my identity with Jesus, this means I get the added bonus of the Holy Spirit living inside of me around the clock. I love the direction my life is heading in, I want people to be able to witness through me just what Jesus can do with a heart. I want to be so filled with the Holy Spirit I don’t need to breathe at night. I want people to understand that God isn’t just some mystical being a million miles away in space but He’s right here, next to you, even dwelling inside of you. I want the Holy Spirit to become my new “Axe” sent, and that people can say they ‘smell’ the Jesus-sent on me. I want my faith and identity to grow so strong that I legit smell like Jesus.

I call the new sent Jesus Musk and I want it. However just like all other fragrances this comes at a price. Not going to lie, it’s hard to be a Christian. But I have become so unconcerned about the worries that are on this world, that my drive to have Jesus is so strong, I’m willing to give my everything to him. This is new sent couldn’t have come at a better time, during my one year. I want to be so in love with Jesus that my future husband can smell the Jesus Musk on me, and hopefully vice-versa.

Let me tell you this my friends, the longer you keep your gaze fixed on the Lord, the more you’ll discover how much he loves you. When you discover his absolutely perfect love and the fact it was meant for you, there is no hurt or heartbreak; there is no frustration or anger; there is no imperfection or worthlessness; there is no shame or guilt. Friends, his love is so perfect that anything you have ever done doesn’t matter anymore, He is just happy that you looked towards him. Trust me, he knows how hard it is to live on earth, Jesus has done it before. But also remember that he conquered this earth and through him, we have inherited it.

My prayers are still going out to all of you, know that you are dwelling in my heart and know that you are also dwelling in God’s heart. God Bless!

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make know the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” ~Ephesians 6:18-20

Secret Seven: Choices

Have you ever seen the movie, The Emperor’s New Groove when Kronk is trying to through the Emperor off the side of the kingdom? The angel and the devil appear on his shoulder and they begin to argue about what to do, save the Emperor or kill him. Kronk was running out of time until he finally decided to go and save him from a tragic ending. We learned that Kronk, as big as he is, he really is a big sweetheart. Kronk chose compassion. I had a lot of trouble figuring out what I should have as my secret seven when I found myself in a little bit of a pickle. You see, psychologically I’m fine; in every aspect I’m of my well being I’m usually fine. But recently I have been having troubles. As early as I go to bed, I find myself always sleepy; I can’t keep food down when I have the appetite to eat it. As healthy as I eat I still can’t lose weight and according to my BMI (Body Mass Index) I’m not even on the chart because I’m just that obese. I’m very active, just not as hardcore as I used to be (not after I got my knee surgery) so the fact that I can’t get myself to a healthy weight is very frustrating.

Now there is something you should know about me. I used/still struggling with Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder when you deprive yourself of food, self starvation. It was not a happy time in my life because it didn’t affect my life; it affected my family, friends, school and even work. Try explaining to your twelve year old brother why you won’t eat, it wasn’t easy. But luckily my church just made enough impact on me to bring me down to reality, sadly I still suffer from the corrupt eyesight (meaning as skinny or thin as I truly am, I can’t see it myself. I will consider myself fat). As much as people try to deny it, Anorexia is a choice, that just manifest into a lifestyle. In the beginning I chose not to eat or eat significantly less than what I was supposed to. I chose (if I did eat) to throw it up after. And soon, I found myself unable to control those reflexes, because I wasn’t eating I didn’t menstruate which led to more issues I have and I was no longer allowed to play my favorite sport, soccer (or any sport for that matter) my choices lead to that.

Going back to my current medical issues. I do (now) have a healthy diet and I’m active but it’s not enough. I have been tempted to go back because I did lose a lot of weight when I didn’t eat. Often I struggle with the idea that not eating is the most effective way to lose weight. Ladies if you are struggling with something like this because you want to be skinny please remember that the word beautiful isn’t skinny either, you were made to be exactly who you are, not eating only damages the beauty that is already there. I’m still struggling with that idea that not eating will help me. I’m a vegetarian right now (the thought of eating meat disgusts me) and I like to over load on starches. So thinking more about it, I have decided to become a vegan. No diary, eggs, or any animal byproduct. I’m still gonna wear wool and sit on leather though. I chose to do this so that my body can fight whatever is in it off naturally.

So how does any of this go back to our main point? It’s all about choices today ladies and gentlemen. The choices that we make, even the little ones in our everyday lives cannot only affect others around us; it can affect our spiritual life. In the book of Matthew 7: 13-14 Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few find it.” We know how to get to heaven. Truly believe that Jesus is the Savior, the Way, the Truth and the Life. But there is more to it than just believing, we have to live him. Saying you’re a Christian then going out and lying, cheating, putting others down and doing other sorts of provocative stuff will make you a hypocrite, the people that Jesus hated. If you are going to confess that you are a Christian, you better be ready to live it. Good thing about this, God made it our choice to live like this; we just need to be ready to accept the consequence. If you chose to walk in the light of Jesus you have to also live like he did, Jesus was what he taught. John 14: 7 Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” When Jesus was on earth he showed others how to get to heaven, in fact he even made it easy for us by dyeing instead of us.

In life you are given a serious of choices, not all of them will be the norm of one good one bad; some will be good and good and some will be bad and bad. If there is one thing I have learned about College multiple choice tests, some Professors will give all right answers it’s your job to pick the right-est answer. And trust me; they will mark it wrong if it isn’t that answer regardless if all the other answers are right. It’s hard; it’s hard to choose sometimes. Life choices are the same; sometimes (or for me a lot of the times) we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I do this or that? Do I go with my belief or my religions belief? For me, I believe that homosexuality is an issue that people shouldn’t concern themselves with being but for my own personal option, I won’t engage in homosexual activity. People often think because I don’t have an option about it (or I’m more on the fence) that I must be a homosexual myself or I must not be with the church. While people have these crazy ideas of me I personally have a hard time explaining to them that it’s not my place to judge.

Life is all about the choices we make and the way that they impact the lives all around us. The bible is all about people who have made both good and bad choices, there outcomes and how we can avoid destruction and maximize glory to God. Prayer is a good way to get help with issues and challenges in their lives. Remember that in the book of John, right before Jesus left earth (John 16:33) “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God Bless!!

Secret Six: To be that Perfect Woman.

“There must be somewhere I can be astonishing.” ~Astonishing: Little Women the Musical. Okay, what do Pride and Prejudice and Little Women have in common? Stumped? Pride and Prejudice and Little Women are stories that explain the struggles of women when their rights where just a far off dream. The first line in chapter one of Pride and Prejudice is “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” But in today's where it seems that all of our morals and values have gone out the window, some men think that they are still the dominating sex. Some parts of the culture this is still true, it’s a male dominated work field when it come to being the head of a CEO or President of a company or even the nation. When brave women enter with these positions we are more likely not taken seriously, we are made fun of and some people take advantage of us.

Sometime men prove themselves the greater power by being violent to women, to prove that they are superior. Some men do that to women that they don’t even know, to these monsters, women are nothing more than objects. So when women take the stance, it’s seems unaccepted but we choose to do it anyways. Women who have made choices to misbehave have changed the course of history: Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, and J.K Rowling just to name a few well known women to have changed history. These women do not have super powers, they did not come from wealthy families and they decided to go against the odds that society had already label for women who went through as much as they did.

Now I’m not saying that our struggles are mostly due to men, a lot of women are subject to just as much blame as men are. I know some women who say that God made man first so he could practice…sometimes I’d have to agree. But often I remember the fact that I still mess up, I let greed get to me and I fall to the temptations of the world. Brad Stine, a Christian comedian, said in his show Tolerate This that, “Man sees the woman he wants he goes after her, if she says no we’re out! Woman sees the man that they want they go grab them, not by the lapel but by the soul. Till you gotta have them, till you can’t live without them. And by the way, women don’t just give themselves away like men do; they make you earn them! And that’s why you gotta male and you gotta female because you can have that male for free, but with this male there’s a fe(e) involved [in case you didn’t get it, fee-male stands for female]. If you want a woman it’s gonna cost yeah, and it should you’re the best of us. The best of us.”

In the bible the book of Proverbs explains two different types of woman. Proverbs 7 girl and a Proverbs 31 woman. The father who is giving advice to his son tells him to watch out for the Proverbs 7 girl, “The woman approaches him, seductively dressed and sly of heart. She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home. She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner.” “‘Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning. Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses, form husband is not home. He’s away on a long trip. He has taken a wallet full of money with him and won’t return until later this month.’ So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery. He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stage caught in a trap, awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life.” (Proverbs 7:10-12; 18-23).

Ladies, if you say that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior but the passages above reflect you life with men, you really need to thing about rearranging your priorities. So what makes the perfect woman? It’s hard really pinpoint the qualities of a perfect woman due to the fact that we are all flawed. But being flawed doesn’t mean that we stop striving to be this kind of perfect, especially when it comes to something this valuable. There is a lot of risk when women act reckless; the soul, heart, spirit and sometimes the body. So, how can we women obtain perfection when we are all flawed? Why should we even try? Well flip all the way to the end of Proverbs to chapter 31:10. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” A wife worth having is more valuable than anything on this world.

I came up with a saying when talking about the importance of our hearts. “Hardening your heart doesn't make sense if darkness is still infecting it. It's like placing a rotten orange behind stainless steel refrigerator doors. The orange is still rotting, just no one can pick it up and throw it away.” I am not saying that feminism moment was a big mistake because it didn’t go in the direction that God wanted it to go. But ladies if you’re looking to be that perfect woman, dominance has nothing to do with it. In Proverbs 31 starting at verse 10, in that passages it talks about the perfect woman is something a value, and she’s a hard at home to make sure that her family as well as home is well kept and she even is a hard worker making money the honest way. A woman like this is a woman that is made to be treasured.

Now please remember that we are made with flaws and we are all imperfect. Not all women can live like this and some woman don’t think that they should. But truth is, women are made to be the back bone in a family. Men are more of the back bone in other places. Without woman, children and even some adults wouldn’t understand how to care for families and even themselves. Being the perfect women isn’t made to easy, especially in the culture that we have today, very male dominated. Remember to stand strong in your faith ladies! God is on the side of those who live a life that Glorifies him!